My mom said something to me over the phone this weekend that truly hit home. She said, “Lis, I think your biggest problem is you have no inner filter.”

I’ve always know this, but she verified it for me in the loving, genuine way only a mother could.

Of course, her comment didn’t come out of nowhere. We were talking about my blog, the subsequent confession to my family, and various related topics including the things I was vowing to work on.

After praising me for taking this head-on and really embracing my decision to come clean and make strides, she said that the *only* thing about my personality that she wishes I could improve upon would be my filters about food and exercise…or, I should say, lack there of.

Essentially, I (admittedly) have no filters when it comes to these two things; I’m excessive. I say whatever I am thinking, almost like a constant stream of consciousness and I don’t even realize I am doing it.

Whereas most people would maybe debate, in their heads, the merits of granola vs. All-Bran, or ponder the impact of the decision to eat carrot cake for dessert, I have no filter and just say stuff out loud. I publicly justify my decision to run in the morning … or my hesitance to have a glass of wine with dinner based on what I’d eaten earlier.

I guess you could say I am exessively, blatantly vocal about my obsessions. To a fault. I don’t do it deliberately or even with any forethought; I just do it.

And it’s not normal.

Moreover, I realize now that this is probably obnoxious behavior and likely makes me tough to be around, especially for those close to me who possibly think similar thoughts — but keep them tucked in the confines of their minds.

As my mom said, “It makes us uncomfortable to hear you hemming and hawing, analyzing and discussing out loud. We wish you could just BE. Eat the cookie, and just not discuss it.”

But what woman doesn’t give thought to the second helping of pasta or when choosing the fish-and-chips vs. the healthier tilapia and rice entree at a restaurant? Unlike men, most women do tend to qualify their food choices, even if they don’t say them out loud. My mom agreed that women are almost programmed to think first–even if we still indulge.

Like my sister wisely said, “All women are disordered eaters in some way, Lis.” Clearly, the SELF survey on disordered eating showed that at least 60% of us admit it; my sister’s point being that the other 40% probably just don’t acknowledge it.

So to make progress here, I need to find balance and curb my inner filter. This means even if I can’t stop the constant analyzing in my head, to keep it to myself at the very least.

I’ll be honest, though I am willing to give it a shot, I don’t think it’ll be easy; it’s not my nature.

Case in point: When I was seven, I humilated the living hell out of my dad at my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah. While scanning the dessert choices, he introduced me to this lovely couple and told me how they owned lots and lots of Burger Kings.

As a 7-yr old, I thought this was super-cool, but instead I said, “MY daddy calls it ‘Burger Swine!'” grinning ear-to-ear.

The couple chuckled politely while my dad turned about twelve shades of red. That was the first time of many that my inner filter didn’t work.

Over the years, I got better–much better–about being politically correct. Living in D.C. will do that to you; working in the energy industry and later with political appointees during this Republican administration meant I needed to watch every word I said! (My tongue is still sore from biting it so often.) But I digress.

Anyway, though I still had some slip-ups over the years, for the most part, I’ve found a way to keep certain thoughts private. Yet somehow when it comes to food and exercise, I’ve been a flop.

And so that is my goal this week, to focus on my inner filter.

Between that and not obsessively journaling, I have two big goals, but I am confident I can do both. Again, awareness is half the battle. Wish me luck!

How about you? Do you think you drive those around you nuts with your constant chatter about food and exercise, or do you keep it to yourself?