Within the past year or so, I’ve been feeling the real urge to start a family. I’ve been married to my husband for almost two years after being together nearly eight years, and I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Ideally, I’ve wanted to be pregnant or have my first child by the time I hit 30 (God-willing).
Well, I turn 29 this October, and I’m really getting excited at the notion of creating life. And since my husband is possibly more eager than me, I hope we will not have difficulty when the time comes in the next year or so.
But I’ll be honest…I fear being pregnant. Getting “fat,” and having to lose the weight all over again daunts me. That sounds awful, I know … as it’s creating life, the most beautiful thing in the world, and I truly can’t wait to be a mom.
Though I’m ashamed to admit it, it scares me: the thought of watching my body transform, even if it’s for a good cause, the ultimate cause. But for someone who is battling disordered eating issues, and who suffers from body dysmorphia, the very notion that I’d deliberately put myself in a position to gain weight all over again is both scary and intimidating.
Still, I am making a promise to myself that I will not let this fear get in the way of becoming a mother. I’m simply putting it out there–that the fear is real and now, it’s exposed.
I want to have a healthy pregnancy, to gain only the appropriate amount of weight and to continue to eat well and exercise as much as I can (within reason of course) for my baby’s health. And when he/she is born, I hope to be able to breast feed and to be a wonderful mother and role model, which is all the more reason I need to nip these issues in the bud now.
I know life isn’t perfect, but I hope to use the tools I’ve learned through Weight Watchers to lre-lose the baby weight in a safe and healthy manner. Still, I am genuinely concerned about how things will pan out when I do get pregnant.
How about you? Are you someone who was heavy, lost weight and got pregnant? How did you handle the body changes?