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we were one

I haven’t written poetry in eons, it feels like … but the other night I was so inspired I just started drafting a poem on my phone, allowing the words to just flow while I focused on the present moment with my son.

This is what I wrote. It’s not exactly some award-winning great work, but it captured the essence of how I was feeling in that moment … a moment that, not too far down the road, will just be a distant memory.

Hard to believe my baby is six months old … Continue Reading »

mommy fail

The scene: Easter brunch at our favorite breakfast nook.

The cast: Luis, Me, Maya, Ben, and 50 other dining patrons plus about 10 wait staff.

The plot: Scalding hot coffee + chubby baby hand = DISASTER of epic proportions.

Continue Reading »

progress …

Since recommitting to healthier eating and more exercise on March 31, my pants fit better, I feel stronger and leaner, and I’m down 6.6 pounds. On my frame, that’s pretty nice. Not noticeable to the eye or enough to drop a size, but still noteworthy.

As of my last weigh-in, I’m 0.4 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight … and that feels great. I gained 34 pounds this time vs. 25 last time. So nine months on; 6.5 months off (whereas last time, four months off). Continue Reading »

Pregnant women gain weight. It’s a fact of life. And a pregnant woman working out (while gaining the requisite weight) deserves major props … not flaming.

My friend Candice shared this story with me today which made my blood boil. A pregnant fitness trainer (Sara Haley) was bullied at her gym … for having stretch marks.

This makes me so sad. Continue Reading »

Perfection doesn’t exist, for any one or any thing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

People, by nature, are flawed. And even the most incredible vacation or meal or outfit innately will have a flaw at some point (a nasty sunburn; food poisoning; a snag in our tights). We just tend to focus on the good because, well, that’s human nature.

We remember drinking piña coladas in the swim-up bar while the sun sets; sinking our fork into the incredible flourless chocolate torte drizzled with raspberry coulis; how sexy we felt dancing in that gorgeous little black dress that made heads turn.

We forget the flaws because the good outweighs the bad.

I’ve never ever — not even for a second, not in a million years– thought of myself as someone who others would see as “perfect” or as someone who has it all together. Not even close. Continue Reading »

A Decade of Dieting

In spite of never being particularly thin, I never dieted a day in my life until I was 24 years old. On April 13, 2004 I made the fast and furious decision to follow my mom’s lead and join Weight Watchers because, as the ads promise … it works.

As many of you long-time readers know, my journey wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. The first eight months on WW, I lost 35 pounds — dropping from a size 12 to a size 6. I did this through simple diet changes, learning about portion control, and upping my fitness ante. I loved my new body, but feared it was on loan. So, in an effort to stay thin at any and all accounts, I began a slow spiral into the secretive world of disordered eating. Because I wasn’t super-thin, no one assumed I had “an issue” … and furthermore, as a chewer and spitter, I always ate and never actually purged. So if I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, I was OK! Continue Reading »

An anxious person by nature, I’m always looking ahead: to the next phone meeting, the next project, the next phone call, the next workout, the next meal, the next event, the next trip, the next milestone … you name it and I’m already ten steps ahead.

It’s just the way my anxious brain works and, as I learned in my first therapy session six years ago (and contrary to popular belief), it’s not such a bad thing to have an anxious mind. The anxious mind can be an asset: yes, it means we’re always “on” … which can be a nuisance to those we are closest to … but it also means we’re usually going to achieve what we set out to do. We’re not likely to stray too far off course.

Because we’re hard-wired like that. Continue Reading »

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